My Son's Right to Marry

I have taken my time in posting this particular post because I am going to probably step on peoples' toes, but I started this blog to share about subjects that might make us uncomfortable.  I have been open about my suffering from a mental illness, suicide attempts, in-laws, politics in church agencies, and having a gay child.

I want to share my thoughts as an LDS mother of a gay son.  One thing I want to clarify is that my son is gay, he is not confused about his gender.  He knows he was and should be a man; however, he is attracted to men.  Sometimes members of the Church get confused that being a gay man means you wish you were a woman.  That is not the case.

The next thing I want to clarify is that I have a strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am a member in good standing of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I do not believe that the Church should or will change their standing on marriage and the Temple should not nor will it seal gay couples.

I will admit that I was happy when the decision came down that gay couples could be married in Utah.  My son, Matt, and his partner, Trent, have been together for 4 1/2 years and for all intents and purposes, are a married couple.  I agree with Dr. William Bradshaw, a former professor at BYU and a former mission president, that my son and Trent being married and monogamous and good men who are contributors to society does not harm the institution of marriage.

I have told Matthew that I wish this could all be done by voter initiative, not by judicial action.  I believe that if voters have made their decision, that should not be overturned by a court.  I have also told him that I believe it would be less controversial and that times are changing and gay marriage could be accepted in more States within the next ten years or so.  Matt's argument is that it should not be a question, it should and is a right, period.

To wrap up -- I was not surprised at Utah's appeal.  I do, however, wish that my son, Matt, and the person he loves could marry.  This may sound contradictory to a lot people, but I have a new outlook on this subject because I have a gay son and know how much he wants to be married.