In 2011 I felt compelled to write mine and Marty's story through his pornography addiction. For me, it was very therapeutic to get those thoughts and feelings into a story. I had journaled during that time and kept those entries in my "Ugly Book." It was black notebook that had been torn in half, with way too many swear words, tears, etc. and I carried that thing around for seven years. Even after I had completed After the Tears, I kept the book until late in 2012 when I took our dutch oven pan and I burned that book and with the burning I felt additional peace. It was done. Not the journey, because this will be with us our whole lives, but the pain and healing that I needed was done.
I will say that this book is brutally honest, raw and uncomfortable at times to read in way that I had wished I could find in those first days of discovery. I needed to know my feelings were legitimate and my anger was not misplaced. I also could not have read a "novel," I needed short and sweet.
Donna Jones, who used to oversee the ARP missionaries in Davis County with her husband, told me that she wished she could hand a copy of my book to every Bishop so they could understand the wives' side of this addiction.
My therapist told me to not change one thing if a publishing company wanted to tone it down. She agreed that the rawness needed to be there to be helpful.
I can't figure out how to copy the link, so I know you can find it on Amazon under books and kindle with my name as Elizabeth O. Haws or the title After the Tears: A Wife's Journey Through A Pornography Addiction.
People might be sick of seeing this being promoted, but this will be it, I promise. Thanks for reading!
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